check it out our google latitudes are spooning
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
