R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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