CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
