I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
