So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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