Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
