Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want to make out with him forever
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
