So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
