Define "chronic" masturbator.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
