pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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