singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
