i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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