I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
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