Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
