he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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