Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
