hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
