So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
