You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
