I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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