I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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