I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I have feelings that need drinking.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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