yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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