There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
