I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Randomize
