Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
