these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
