If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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