You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
