I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
