She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
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