this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
smell my finger.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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