theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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