You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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