so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Drunk is not a location!
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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