Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
