dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
