Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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