Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
