Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
