But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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