So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
