Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
