id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
