i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
