We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
