Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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