I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
