I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
