i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
