after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
FUCK WHALES
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
