Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
