I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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