Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
