You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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