Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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