eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
