What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
