Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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