Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
